I’m happy
I’m over Chevans, I of course would still do really dirty things to and with him and marry him in like 7 years but I’m cool on him meow, I should have felt like this a while ago it’s nice dude haha.
okay I’m done.
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So
Yesterday I had such good conversation with my friends Franli & Jake, I honestly look up to them so much so for me to be able to spend time with them and be enlightened by them was awesome. Jake kept telling stories and in one of them he said “girls aways go for chevans”, Jake continued to talk nothing but good about Chase, he admires him a lot and so does everyone around him, I just thought it was all in a friend way, when I first start liking Chase I didn’t know that other girls were into him, I usually try for the guys girls would be less likely to want, girls these days want the assholes so I know if it’s a guy a girl wants then he’s probably no good, but the guys girls just walk all over and look pass are the guys that I’m into, and I thought he was one of “those” guys that was super sweet and adorable that was totally looked over, I thought girls saw him has sweet chase not trying to shmang n shit haha and I still believe that he is a perfect person, I just look at the situation so different meow, I feel mad silly, for going after “that” guy that all the girls love haha Idk I don’t like the feeling, I think last night really helped me like get over him, because I just don’t feel the same for him like a I did, I love him hella don’t get me wrong, I’m starting to see him as the homie more then someone that I want, which is great for the both of us haha, Paige said something last night that I don’t know if it were the molly talking or if she meant what she said, but she said “a lot of girls come through the cabin, and I don’t really try to get to know them because I know they won’t be around long, but I really do like you and I’m glad I got to know you” and that’s the best thing I feel I’ve been given out of this situation with Chase, the people in that house are nothing but caring and have so many passions, and for them to be able to open up just a little bit and just love on me is awesome, sometimes I always say to myself how much I regret anything I’ve had to do with chase as far as liking him and the way I went about things but I gained so much more out of it then I could even imagine and I love those guys a lot. I don’t have a family really, so it feels like their big family loves me and that’s all I truly want out of people because I feel I didn’t get enough of it, but enough about that I’m happy and I feel like i’ve stepped over to a new stone.
Okay I’m done.
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Everything happens for a reason, haha. I texted the guy I basically am in fakereal love with, it’s weird I hate it, I’m in the middle of getting over him I’m coming close but not really. Any whooo I hate being drunk and hitting up people I know I shouldn’t, I wish I was lost on this river with no cell phone service and then I would be cool, haha. any ways I’m sleepy now, Life is awesome, I make mistakes oh well.
okay I’m done.
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